Playing Catchup

I never anticipated that it would be June before I sat down to blog again, but that is life. I will attempt to share some of the most important highlights from the past 6 months. Lots has happened!

We had a fantastic Christmas. Max absolutely loved everything about it! We finally got all of our decorations up and made it to a Christmas Tree Farm as well. We try to go every other year to pick and cut down our tree. Max got his first hayride and loved being outdoors again after being cooped up in our sick house for such a long time. He loved helping Daddy to cut down the tree. We then got to drag it back to the tractor to be carried to the barn where we paid for it. It is a wonderful experience and I highly recommend everyone try it at some point in their life!






All 3 kids loved being there, and I imagine it will be a continued tradition in our family.

Christmas was extremely special, being that it was Max's first with our family. He loved the Christmas lights on our house, the extreme Christmas movie watching our family does, hot cider, hot cocoa, adding ornaments to our Advent calendar each day, seeing Santa Claus, and of course, Christmas morning! He LOVED opening presents. It was so fun to see the joy in his face when he realized that it was his turn to open a gift. His smile and laugh were contagious! We spent the day here, with Jason's parents, his brother Adrian, sister-in-law Jessica, and our new nephew Alex. We had a fun filled day with just a few cooking mishaps! It was a memorable day.






A few weeks after Christmas, Max had his surgery on his right leg. It was done in order to better stabilize his leg in his prosthesis. Two bones were shaved and fused together. He did well in the hospital, actually being released the day after his surgery because he was doing so well. He had a hard time after he came out of surgery, crying hysterically. It was heartbreaking to see him like that. He kept crying for the cast to be taken off-finally I asked if I could hold him. He eventually calmed down, after getting into my arms. It made me cry that he trusted me enough to calm down in my arms. It was a moment I think I will never forget. I even carried him up to his room because neither of us wanted to be parted when it was time for him to be moved from post-op. Jason and I alternated spending the night with him at the hospital. The girls were able to come up and visit the afternoon that he was released. They enjoyed pulling him through the hallway in his special wagon. They both really loved the wheelchair that we were able to borrow during his recovery time! It was the best toy in the house for them!


He was in a cast for the next 10 weeks. After it was removed, it was another 6-8 weeks before he had his prosthesis. He finally has it full time now and is quickly readjusting to be back on his feet. I am so relived to have him walking again. I am sure that he was tired of being so dependent on me for so many things. It did give us a good opportunity to baby him, which in turn, encouraged more bonding.

As for the bonding, we are so pleased with how well Max is doing now. About a month ago, we sat down as a family and watched our home videos from the adoption trip to China. It was remarkable to see the differences between then and now. It was as if Max was just this little boy, hanging out with our family for the day, whereas now, he is our son, our brother, our family. He has really responded well to the boundaries we set early on. We have absolutely no doubt that Max knows without a doubt that we are his family. He recognizes the differences between our immediate and our extended family. He understands that we care for our friends, but we love our family. He has vastly improved in keeping personal space between himself and others. He still loves to perform and is still a ham-but we have come to understand that is part of his personality...

In February, Max celebrated his fourth birthday. As he was still in his cast, and unable to do much, we decided to do a small family party, just the five of us plus Jason's parents. Being brilliant parents, we decided we would have his birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday afternoon. Let me just forewarn you, NEVER enter a Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday afternoon unless you want to be surrounded by hordes of screaming children, frustrated parents, all shoved together in a hot environment. These elements don't bode well. We had a great time, nonetheless! Max picked Elmo for party theme, so I made him an Elmo birthday cake. I had some issues with the frosting-so Elmo looks like he has a sunburn-but Max loved him despite that! I am seriously loving makes for the kids, and am getting a little bit better with each one-but I have a ways to go.

Max opening his gift from Abby.

He got some great presents-once again he loved opening them. He would open one, toss it aside and reach for the next one. It was funny to watch. He really enjoyed the party and didn't stop talking about it for weeks. Abby did the cutest thing the day before the party. She picked a toy from the toy box and wrapped it up with spare wrapping paper that was leftover from me wrapping up his presents. They both got such a kick out of him opening it. Just another example of the cuteness I live with!!!

Abby's birthday was one week later. Two February birthdays, a week apart!!! Overwhelming!
She wanted to go bowling for her birthday, so Jason's parents went with us to bowl. She was inspired to do this because she is such a talented bowler on the Wii. She quickly found out that bowling in real life is much harder. Her score wasn't quite as high. We then headed back to the house to have homemade personal pizzas for dinner, followed by an ice cream cake. She loved her presents, especially her Hannah Montana dress up stuff from Maw-Maw and Paw-Paw.

She fell asleep on the way to the bowling alley, unbeknownst to us! At first, I didn't even know she was asleep, we thought she was playing a trick on us. But when her head fell forward, we knew she was seriously asleep. It was confirmed seconds later by the snoring we heard coming from the backseat.

She loved watching her ball go! Even if it took minutes to make it to the pin.

Abby Montana!!!

Yummy cake!!!

Life quieted down after February was over. We slowly got into a routine, working around Max's cast, but continuing to do as much as possible. We went to the zoo, went to playgroup at our church, and went to fun programs at Abby's preschool. Max and Madeline will both be in preschool in the fall, they are thrilled about that! So is Mommy!!!!!!!

We are excited about the summer and have already been blessed by going on vacation for a week. I will post about that next time with pictures from our trip. It was a fantastic week and we couldn't have had a better time.

Our Story

Jason had the honor of preaching at our church 2 weeks ago. He shared about how God began this journey of adoption for our family. Below is a link to watch the sermon-not only will you get to see Jason preach, but you will receive the added pleasure of seeing the biggest ham in the world, wooing the audience! (P.S. I am talking about Max, not Jason!)

Jason's sermon

Click on November 23, the one on the right, so that you can watch his sermon.

Enjoy!

Sweet Emotions

I cannot begin to describe the emotions I am feeling right now. We have been through the ringer the past few weeks with too many illnesses to count. We had not even begun to put up our Christmas decorations, which is very unusual for Jason and me. So tonight, we decided we were going to do it, no matter what. We pulled out all of our many boxes of Christmas stuff and suddenly everyone seemed happier. Abby, who has been fighting tremendous pain in her ears and a fever all day, smiled for the first time. Max, who has been feeling neglected because his sisters have been so sick, donned a Santa Claus hat and started shouting "Merry Christmas!!" Madeline hugged each and every Christmas stuffed animal that we unpacked, with such gusto that I thought their seams might pop. The mood lightened, and all seemed right.

I actually began to cry. It was but a year ago that we anxiously awaited the news of whether China would allow us to seek the adoption of Max. We found out on January 2, 2008, that we were pre-approved to adopt Max, pending our dossier. The entire Christmas season of 2007, we constantly pondered the fact that our next Christmas would be as a family of 5, with our sweet son Max.

But I digress.....I experienced an overwhelming sense love for Max tonight. Just seeing his excitement at unwrapping our decorations, listening to Christmas music, putting up our stockings on the fireplace....I just couldn't help but think about where we were a year ago and where we are now. I am still amazed at how much our life has changed because of the joy that he brings to our home. I was in our bedroom as Jason was getting more boxes of Christmas decorations out of the garage. All of a sudden I heard him say "Hey, what are you doing out here??" And then there was hysterical laughing, because Max had followed his daddy out to the garage in his sock feet, because he was so excited to see more Christmas decorations. I don't know why it was at that moment that I felt such a wave of love wash over me, purely for Max, but I did. And I am grateful for it, because those moments are happening more and more frequently. What an answer to a heartfelt prayer.

I'm Back.......

Well, I know I promised in my last post that I would be updating our blog at least a few times a week. I am such a liar. I was so naive to think that I would have time every other day to sit down at the computer and write updates. All that to say, please, please forgive me for taking so long to do this!! The only reason I can right now is because all 3 kids are sleeping. Madeline is the only one who naps daily, but Abby and Max are both sick so we decided they needed naps as well. So I have an entire hour to myself. So I am finally getting the chance to update on our life. I am desperately wanting to do this more often-but I realize that until things calm down a little bit, I need to be patient with my expectations. I simply cannot keep up with everything like I would like to. But I do promise to do the best that I can to update on how things are going.

So life at the Paredes' house has been crazy lately! I know that it will not always be like this-eventually things will slow down, we'll get into a routine, and I will feel like I have some control over life. At this point, I don't feel that at all. It has been a huge adjustment going from 2 kids to 3-especially since the newest one is not a newborn, but a highly active 3 year old who is learning English and learning to trust his new family. Slowly but surely, I am conquering things that have been oppressing me. The laundry is a neverending battle, but I am fighting it each day. I am back on top of my meal planning and cooking. The kitchen will eventually be completely cleaned. The kids rooms are staying a bit neater. The same cannot be said for their bathroom however. Jason and I are finding time to spend together in the evenings. And the bonding with Max has been showing great signs of progress. I am sure everyone is wondering how he is doing (and the girls) so I will quit talking about me and get straight to the kiddos.

Max is doing really, really well. He is learning English so fast, it is astounding. He shocks us sometimes by the things that come out of his mouth. The other day he was looking at something (I can't remember what it was for the life of me!) and he said "Oh my gosh." It was hysterical. He is a little mimic. So I am having to be even more careful about what I say. No more calling the kids doofballs, spazoid, etc. I don't want Max to call anyone else those names! His comprehension is really high. I am so impressed by him.

He is loving his sisters. Abby is a wonderful playmate and actually, 2 times a week when she is at school, Madeline and Max have a great time together. It's cute to see the two of them playing, because they are almost exactly the same size. They are a hoot together. The kids are really enjoying each other. I wonder sometimes if Madeline truly comprehends that Max is here to stay. We did our best to prepare her-but you never know. If I could only get in her little brain-the wonders that I would encounter!

We have seen great signs of bonding with Max. He is more timid around others and doesn't pay them much attention anymore. We are finding that the less attention they pay to him, the less he gives back, which is a start. He has grown into quite a little cuddler. He loves to be held and while he's been sick, has wanted to be rocked more at night. He is also giving out hugs and kisses more freely-without even being asked. He is getting tons of modeling and examples from the girls. What a blessing they are. He is seeing every day that we a family. Even if he doesn't quite understand the concept, he knows that the 4 of us are his everyday life now. He understands that Jason goes to work each day, but that he always comes homes. He knows that when I leave, I always return. He is seeing consistency. It will still be quite some time before we leave him anywhere without us (like at church or with a sitter), but we'll get to that point before we even know it.

There have been some tough times in the past few weeks. All 3 kids got sick about 2 weeks ago, then I caught it. It was crazy! Poor Jason was trying to take care of all of us and catch up on all of his work that had been piling up from our trip to China. I bet no one was more relieved than he was when I was finally well again! He did a great job taking over for me.

We are looking forward to the holiday next week. Jason will have several days off, so we'll be able to relax for a bit. I am curious what Max will think of the upcoming holiday season. We go all out for Christmas, it's our very favorite time of year. He will probably begin to think that is just another example of how crazy Mommy and Daddy are. What's incredible to us, is that a year ago is when we first received his paperwork and officially began the "paperchase" to bring him home. At Christmas, we would say over and over again, "Next year Max will be home!" Incredible that it's next year. Incredible that he's home!!!

I will leave you with pictures that have been taken over the past month or so. I also leave you with a promise that I will update the blog as much as I can. I am not going to promise a specific number of times per week, because I don't want to be made into a liar again! But don't give up on me! Don't give up on the blog. We will meet again!!!

Max pretending to take my picture!

Playing is even more fun inside the toy box.

All dressed up for trick-or-treating!

Elmo, Stinkerbell, and Sleeping Beauty..(Did I say
Stinkerbell, I meant Tinkerbell).

No, actually, I meant Stinkerbell.

Max loves being a cheeseball!

Abby, after her preschool circus parade.

Abby White Cloud

She is so adorable!!!!

"Mommy, please STOP taking my picture!!!"

Better Day Today

Things went better today. I felt better when I woke up-it's amazing what a quiet time can do! I had energy and actually wanted to get things accomplished. Since I was feeling so adventurous, I decided to take the kids (all 3 of them!) to Wal-Mart. I have been needing to go for several days, but when we ran out of diapers for Madeline this morning, I knew it was time to go. It went really well. Max was so funny! Every time I put something in the shopping cart, which he was sitting in, he would yell "Yay Mommy! You did it! Good job!" He is such a hoot! The volume intensified when it was something that he really liked, like cereal or yogurt. Overall, it went really well. I definitely will not be taking all of them when I have tons of shopping to do, but today was a smaller one. Although, as usual, I walked out of there with much more than I had planned on buying. Don't tell Jason!

I feel like I am getting the hang of things. Jason is at a late meeting tonight, so I was on my own with the kiddos. It went fine. I even bathed all 3 of them-which is interesting. I got them all to bed by 8:30 (MIRACLE!!) so I actually have time to sit down and blog. :-)

I have received emails from several people who are also adoptive parents. All of them have been so encouraging. What a blessing. They shared their struggles-some of them identical to ours. It's amazing how much guilt you can put onto yourself because you think that your feelings are so wrong. What a refreshing reminder that other people out there have gone through exactly the same thing as us and have made it through it. Thank you to all of you who took the time to email me today, or left a comment on the blog. I am so grateful that you did so. It really truly encouraged me.

One last thing before I sign off. We got Max's appointments for Scottish Rite Hospital. This is the children's hospital where we will be taking Max to have evaluations/corrections made on his hands and legs. Our first appointment is November 20, in which his hands will be evaluated by a team of doctors. Unfortunately, his appointment for his prosthetic leg isn't until December 8. I had really been hoping for an earlier appointment for that. His prosthetic leg is at least 1 inch shorter than his other leg because he is growing out of it. So I am concerned for him to continue to walk around on it for another couple of months. Hopefully once we have the evaluation, the doctors will be able to move quickly. Pray for that please..

Next time I post, I promise to include pictures!!!!

At Long Last...

Please accept my apologies for how long it has taken me to sit down to write an update. It has been crazy here since we returned! We got back to Arlington on Saturday, October 18. We felt a mix of emotions as we arrived-relief, excitement, joy, anxiousness...Our journey to adopt Max was coming to an end, but an entirely new journey was about to begin. It took us some time to realize that. We are now in the process of becoming a family. We have been praying for Max for so long, and have yearned to be with him so strongly-it was so exciting to finally be united with him. But our bonding as a family will take time.

It was a hard week last week, between being exhausted from the jet lag, the kids being exhausted from the jet lag, Abby being sick and then Madeline having some issues...but we are finally getting into a good routine here. The house is not staying quite as neat as I would like, but I am realizing that I am putting really high expectations on myself. I simply cannot keep up with everything right now. The most important thing is to teach Max how much we love him and for him to learn to trust us and love us.

We have seen some really positive and encouraging signs over the past week that he is bonding to us. We visited Jason's office last week and he didn't try to get down out of my arms the entire time. He was more quiet and reserved than normal. This is good! This means that he felt uncertain, yet felt safe in my arms. He asks for Jason a lot when he is at work. He also whined for me one day when I had left to go run an errand. Very exciting! This is the only time we are happy to report that one of our kids is whining!!! We have had lots and lots of play time as a family. Lots of wrestling (big surprise!), reading together, cuddling like a baby and tons of play time outside. He loves to be held and cuddled and is really learning to let us do it for longer periods of time. Sometimes it is a struggle for us when we are trying to cuddle him and he is pushing us away, but we know that he is not used to it, and needs to be taught that is is fun and special.

Now for the hard part- I have been struggling a bit. I have felt overwhelmed with the transition from 2 to 3 kids. Especially with the change of a boy. I have felt down for the past couple of days for various reasons. I have not been getting enough sleep, I haven't been doing my quiet time, and there are certain things that I am dealing with emotionally. This has been unexpected and has been difficult. Please pray for me. Pray that I would not be hard on myself or expect perfection right now. Pray that I would be patient with the kiddos as they adjust to each other. Pray for our bonding with Max. We have loved Max from afar for nearly 2 years. We would do anything for him, just as we would the girls. But the emotions are different right now, which kills me. But as I finally spent some time with God this morning, I realized something. Just as Max needs time to learn to trust us and love us and attach to us, we need the same thing. He is our son, but it will take some time to develop depth to that relationship. Please pray for us. We know we'll get there-but we are finally realizing that our true, deep love will not develop overnight.

I will say that he is doing exceptionally well. He is adjusting so well. He is having a lot of fun here-he loves playing with all of his toys, with his sisters, with us, with the dogs, and outside as well. He has responded well to our discipline. He is eating well, sleeping well and really learning English quickly. We could not have hoped for his adjustment to have been any better! I am so proud of him, for how resilient he is proving to be. Overall,we are very pleased with how he is doing. We are anxious to begin introducing him to the outside world, but we continue to be very careful about his exposure to others. I do feel that he is beginning to grasp that this is his home and that we are his family. But we are still going to be cautious. Better to be over-cautious now then realize later on that we jumped the gun to soon.

I promise to begin blogging again on a consistent basis. It may not happen every single day, but it will be multiple times a week. The blog will be about the whole family, not just about Max anymore. I am thrilled to finally be at that place!!

Last Post from China- U.S.A. Here We Come!!!!

We are up late as usual, having waited until the last minute to start packing. Although, I guess last minute would truly constitute waiting until tomorrow morning. So perhaps we are ahead of the game!

We had an interesting experience at the U.S. Consulate today for the oath ceremony (this is also where we got Max's passport with his U.S. visa and all of the documents necessary for him to enter the U.S.). We had a harrowing taxi ride that believe it or not, was actually worse than the last bad one. At one point, I truly thought we were going to collide with another taxi. I squeezed the kids so tight I thought they might pop. I will be so glad to have them back in carseats! Our driver apparently thought he was Tom Cruise from Top Gun and that he had the need for speed. He took one corner so fast that we all shifted so hard that it seemed that all 5 of us were sitting on top of each other. I actually started begging God to get us there safely. We were sending up major flare prayers in the backseat, begging that Mr. Tom Cruise in the front would get us there without bodily injury. We made it, praise God!

And that's where things got interesting. We waited for several minutes in the lobby of the building for our guide. After about 3-5 minutes of waiting, we started to get a little worried. Then a Chinese woman approached us saying, "Consulate?" We said yes, that we were going to the consulate. She then proceeded to tell us in very broken english that it was closed. For a second, I actually felt my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach. Had we misheard our guide? She was late, which was very unusual, then this woman was telling us that the consulate was closed. We didn't see any other Westerners, so we started to get worried. Jason went to ask someone else, then decided that we would head up to the consulate ourselves, to see what the situation was. We were pretty confident that we were there at the right time-even without our guide being there. As we rode 4 different escalators to the 5th floor, I decided that I wasn't leaving without a fight. We are leaving the country tomorrow afternoon, and we can't leave without his passport.

Long story short-everything was okay! I don't know what the woman on the first floor was thinking. As we were waiting to enter the consulate, we saw another family from our adoption agency. We immediately felt better. They helped us get our papers (with the help of their former guide from a previous adoption). Leila, our guide finally showed up. She had had to run back to the hotel to get another family at the last minute because their appointment time had been changed. We had the oath ceremony, where we promised never to abandon or hurt Max and then it was done. It was pretty cool. I wish we could have had cameras in there, because I would have loved to take pictures. There were tons of families there, adopting children from all over China. It was a beautiful picture of sacrificial love and determination. I am sure that all of those families shed just as many tears as we did (if not more) and spent countless hours doing paperwork, praying, preparing everything and waiting. Very special.

We did some last minute shopping and then headed back to the apartment for our last dinner here in Guangzhou. I can't believe our 17 day trip is almost at a close. I simply cannot wait to get home! We will be spending the night in L.A. with my brother Friday night, then we fly into DFW on Saturday at 5:15 on American Airlines flight # 2444. We'd love to see you guys at the airport, if you live in the DFW area. We want to include all of you in the celebration of welcoming Max to Texas. He is sure to put on a show.

One last thing before I close my last post from China. Please pray for Abby as she seems to have picked up whatever it is that I have. Pray for her as we endure the 12 hour flight to L.A. We are hoping that her ears will not be affected. Please also pray for safe travel all the way home, and for Max as well, that he would handle the coming changes well.

Love to all of you from Guangzhou, China!!!